Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize