haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
