i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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