VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
