Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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