So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
