Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
