So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
