Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
