i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think I died a long time ago.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
