So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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