DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he thought i was a dude.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize