If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
