yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize