I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
honey bunches of taint.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
