he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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