she kept yelling 'call me bella'
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize