Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
