I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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