Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
