please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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