Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
How's work?
Spinning.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize