He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Small penises have feelings too.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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