Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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