My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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