Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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