i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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