i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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