Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
