Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I came so hard my ears popped.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
