I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
