what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize