I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
