i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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