my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My vagina is very pro this idea
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
