I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
