we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
