He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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