Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
