She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize