Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
