i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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