Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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