It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
