At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
