spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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