WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
