I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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