I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
