We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
