he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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