just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
