She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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