I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize