Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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