Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize