so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
