He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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