do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
