I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
