You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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