We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
