Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
