singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
that's an acceptable place to lick
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
