We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
