Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
thus making me awesome and them whores
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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