i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize