I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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