i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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