I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
